I had the opportunity to sit down with Wally last Friday, the 13th of October. Wally is about 6’3 and has dark hair with boyish features. We sat outside, uptown Charlotte in the late Friday afternoon breeze.  I have known Wally for a while and have had extensive conversation on all kinds of topics.  I really didn’t know how to start so I jumped to the first question on the list.

So what’s your sign?
“Virgo.”

You live in Charlotte right?
“Yeah for a couple years now.”

Do you believe in that stuff? ..  astrology?
“Not really.”

Do you believe in god
“Yes.” (Very serious-like.)

Why?
“While looking off history, proof, the Bible, people have fought wars over religion.  My family always went to church. Gone to church my whole life.”

Short pause.

“Not because I am supposed to but I have done my homework. Based off my homework I made my own mind up and believe without a doubt.”

So when is the last time you had sex?
“Wednesday of last week.”

So 10 days ?
“It will be a while before I get it again. She’s having some female problems. I’m stuck to masturbation for now.”

Well, that answers the masturbation question but we may come back to it.

So when did you loose your virginity?
“At 17 to a girl named Kim, in a car in an elementary school parking lot. She was 16.”

Was it protected?
“Yeah. We did it 8 times all together. She was my first serious girlfriend. We dated 2 years and waited 8 months before doing it.”

How many girls have you had sex with?
“Don’t know.”

Over a 100?
“Yeah.”

What’s the kinkiest thing you have done?
“Threesomes.”

We talking extra guy or girl?
“Both.”

Any same sex experiences?
“Sleeping over at a friend’s. Woke up with him masturbating me—woke up just as I was coming.”

So you masturbate?
“Before moving in with this girl, a couple times a day.  She really doesn’t like it when I do that, so whenever I can discreetly.”

When was the last time?
“This morning.”

Favorite TV show?
“Smallville and then 24.”

Ever been to a hockey game?
“Yeah, like 8 in my life.”

Any drugs?
“Just pot.”

Any interest in doing it again?
“No, I think I’m done.”

Tatoos?
“None.”

How about piercings?
“Not any more. Had two in my left, 1 in my right and my belly button.”

What’s your waist size?
“37—well 38, they don’t make pants in 37.”

Bigest penis?
“A guy in the men’s shower. Must have been a foot long, not even hard.”

What’s your emotional scar?

Short pause.

“I was raped in jail.”

A few more seconds of silence.

Do you want to go into it any more?
“Yeah.”

How long were you in jail?
“Three days once and then for a month.”

What did you do to go to jail?
“When I was 22 I had a party, was still living at home with parents, it got really big, the police broke it up.  Was charged with 8 counts of alcohol to minors. Couldn’t bond out because they wanted $1000 per count so I had to stay in until my court date, 3 days later.”

I didn’t think anything like this went on in jail, just prison?
“No prison is better, jail is the bad one. They put you in a holding cell, and if you’re in more than a day they put you into a second level holding cell, with the bad people.  No games, no TV, was in with 1 guy who had killed someone, another for armed robbery.”

Are you sure you sure you want go on?

“This guy who I guess thought I was good looking, told me to pull down my pants and told me I could make it easy or hard, and everyone here will hold you down.  This guy was disgusting big, fat and like really hairy, and smelled like he had not showered in a week, I mean he really smelled bad.  I remember his name was Forrest.  I told him ‘I’m not going to let you.’ I screamed as loud as i could for the guards.  Then the guys in the cell grabbed me and held me down, they pulled down my pants. I tightened my ass but he started to get it to go in.”

What happened?

“I talked him out of it. Told him I had to go to the bathroom really bad, and that some of these other guys ...”

A long pause and then he starts back.

“He finally said I wasn’t worth it and stopped.”

A few second of quiet pass; the wind is whipping and you can feel it’s October for the first time.

“Prison is so much better, we played games, the days went by fast, people are much nicer, my month flew by.”

So why did you go to prison?

“Long story but for non-payment and missing a court date.”

What’s your shoe size?
“13.”

Favorite soda?
“Dr. Pepper.”

Beer?
“Don’t drink it much but I like an MGD.”

Mixed drink?
Looking a little embarrassed. “Don’t laugh. It’s sort of girly.” Pause. “Pina Colada.”

How about milk?
“Yeah.”

Chocolate milk?
“Oh yeah.”

How about strawberry milk?
“Yep.”

Favorite color?
“Blue.”

How about your childhood stuffed animal?
“Snoopy.”

Are you a dog person or cat?
“Dog, had two dogs growing up—Cleo and a beagle named Snoopy.”

Spam?  The meat, I mean?
“Never tried it.”

How about cell phone stress?
“I like to be in touch.”

Masterbation?  Did we cover this?
“Yeah, this morning, no lube.”

And advice or technique?
“I don’t cum when I masturbate. I keep my self from cumming—too messy, and this has no clean up.”

Does that feel as good?
“Just slightly less.”

So what do you do?
“You know the taint—you know the space between your ass and balls. When I’m close to coming I press down on the sperm tube and keep it from coming out. No clean up. I like to go to sleep right after doing it so I don’t have any mess.”

Somehow the conversation turns to prostates and the mechanics of it all and to my surprise another story comes out.

“My old girlfriend used a dildo on me. Man, it was massive.”

I hold up two fingers attempting to get a general size

“I was surprised how easy it went in.”

Still holding up my hands up, steadily increasing the distance between, trying to get an estimate on just how massive.  It quickly becomes apparent I am not going to get an answer. I return to my note-taking.

“She wanted me to sit on it while she gave me a blow job.”

How did it feel? Good? (Both fascinated and worried what my mom will think when she reads this.) Ever done anything like it again?

“Not really, none of the other girls I have dated has been so adventurous.”

The conversation trails off. The breeze is picking up.

Ready to head back?
“Yeah.”

If you have any question or comments be sure to post them and I’ll pass them on to Wally.

Thanks again, Wally, and a special thanks to Jenny, my good friend and editor.