1. Do I have enough necessary medication to survive the holiday? xanaz (check)  ambient (check)  15 airplane bottles of Vodka (check)  and so on…
2. Have I downloaded the appropriate amounts of music,  porn and movies to fill the time between 8pm and 5am when the children are in bed and no-one can talk
3. Can I possibly survive on dialup for 36 hours (if no then reconsider question 1)
4. Is my cover story “why I can’t come back for Christmas this year” detailed enough?  and have I rehearsed to the point of believing it myself?
5. Do I have acceptable underwear on?  (mom is like a laundry ninja sneaking in your room early in the morning looking for cloths she can wash- and if you have ratty underwear it can be embarrassing)

just kidding mom